What’s that paycheck costing you?
Joe was diagnosed with cancer. He was attached to his job title as being who he was. He wore the impressive wardrobe, made the dream income and rubbed elbows with all the right influential people. But Joe was dying behind those designer suits. He received the diagnosis and called me. This was his wake up call.
We dug into his circumstances, revealed the takeaways and redefined possibilities. He knew it was time now to do what he wanted to do. And to say what he wanted to say. As is true with all of us, he wasn't sure how much time he’d get. He knew he wanted to write lyrics and become more of a music writer.
So what is was the gift in getting six weeks off for chemotherapy? Joe spent a few weeks with a friend who is a composer with a music studio. He wrote lyrics and sent them to a well-known artist. That artist is interested and Joe is watching the puzzle pieces fall into place as he continues to do more of the work he truly loves. Who knows where this opportunity will lead him? It is exciting to simply be going down that path. Today, Joe is cancer free, and shifting towards his new career in the music industry. And feeling better than he can recall in decades.
When I see him at work, he looks 5 years old again.
Tom was a newlywed and wanted to be a good provider. He worked very hard to get into a lofty sales position and, after seven interviews, finally landed the job. Life was all falling into place like he thought it should be. But soon after, he realized it wasn't really a good fit. That he was chasing the expectations of others, thinking a big paycheck in a competitive environment was what he “should” do. He became miserable. He didn’t believe in his product and was doing things in his work that didn’t feel true to him. He dreaded going to work on Monday mornings (actually the dread started on Sunday night and was present every morning!). He would bring home his dissatisfaction to his wife, but besides listening, there was not a whole lot she could do. He had made a commitment when he got hired so he “had to make it work for at least two years.”
“I don’t know if I’ll ever figure out what I’m supposed to do,” he said to me. We explored the possibilities by examining past experiences and pulled from them what he wanted to bring forward in a future career. What we learned was, he’s done personal training, physical therapy, graphic design, and business management. He had enjoyed parts of all of them, but could not see himself committing fully to any one of them. Individually. He felt frustrated and uncertain how it would come together.
The shift started to happen. He and his wife decided they could leave Southern California and live somewhere more affordable. They felt huge relief in that decision and genuine excitement. Everyone told him there are no jobs where they were moving but he remained open to possibility. As synchronicity would have it, Tom met someone who was looking for someone to partner in, manage and coach at a local fitness gym. Everything suddenly fell into place. Tom gets to combine all the skills and talents he realized and enjoyed from his former work experiences. He is loving what he gets to do now. When I go into class and watch him do what he does, he has the energy and enthusiasm of a five year old. He is hugely successful, highly respected and he makes it all look as easy as play.
A dimmed light flashes bright again
Cindy was stuck in a marriage and afraid to get out. In fact, it was far easier to just stay in it than to do the work to make a change. But it started to affect her at a deep level and she was losing her passion and zest for life. She called. We talked about what was going on and what possibilities could be.
She finally let go and did the scary thing – she moved out on her own and redefined what was possible in her life by choosing what she wanted most. She wanted a place to have horses and be close to her kids but she also wanted to be near the wine industry, have a flexible schedule, and meet someone and date and have the freedom without being in a long-term relationship.
It wasn’t easy but Cindy was inspired to take the steps necessary to create the life of her dreams. We developed a backward plan, and Cindy threw herself into it. She’s doing it all now. She calls me all the time and tells me everything is exactly how she wants it to be and how she is grateful. And if she isn't, she knows what she can do to change it.